No, we do NOT all have the same 24hrs in a day

I think something that has recently started to get under my skin is the whole “we all have the same 24hrs in a day, so if you want it you can make it work” mindset we see all over the internet. It bothers me because we don’t… no one has the same 24 hours. Some people are solo parenting for 24 hours, some people are working for 24 hours, some people were up multiple times throughout the night—and therefore more of their 24 hours were spent awake than maybe yours or mine…

I get what they’re trying to say—they’re implying that if you want to make something happen, you have to make it happen, don’t just expect it to. But saying we all have the same 24 hours is wrong, and honestly, it makes me livid.

It’s the same reason why when I see a dad post something about what a mom should do, I can’t help but laugh… Once he’s a mom, I may listen to what he has to say. But until then, I just can’t get behind it. Unless you are absolutely the primary parent AND your spouse agrees that you’re the primary parent, please don’t pretend to know what my day looks like.

I’ve seen dads tell me what I “need” to do or what will help my day… If it were framed for parents in general, it wouldn’t bother me. But a dad telling a mom what will help? It makes me want to throw shade on every post.

My husband is absolutely wonderful, but he is a dad. I will say some of this may be on me for not always asking for help, but the truth is—moms and dads are different. Moms are wired differently than dads (generally speaking, I know this isn’t the case for everyone). If I ask my husband for help, it’s done. If I ask him for something, he makes sure it happens. He’s amazing—I don’t want anyone thinking otherwise. However… I am still the mom. I am still the wife. I think as women, we’re wired to try to take care of everyone in our house, and I don’t think all dads (or non-primary parents) fully understand that.

As a mom, a wife, and the primary parent, my brain always has the following tabs open:
Grocery list
Household items list
Dinner plans
Childcare issues/plans
Child-related needs—sports sign-ups, making sure they have the right shoes (size and season), scheduling appointments (haircuts, dentist, sick visits, checkups)
When the house was last cleaned (shoutout to our AMAZING housecleaner for making this only an every-other-week stress)
When laundry can and will be done

Please note—NONE of these tabs have anything to do with my job… or in my case, my side job. That’s another 5–10 tabs that are always open.

I’ve been seeing more posts lately like, “unless you’ve answered emails in the lobby of a doctor’s office, taken a Teams meeting on your way to daycare drop-off, had to have your child pulled off of you while screaming and crying, then gone straight into work mode with no transition—we are not the same.” And honestly? It’s so accurate.

I think mine would read something like:
“Unless you got up at 3:30am so you could work out at 4:15am, so you could shower and drink hot coffee, so you could have a little quiet time for yourself… all before the house is awake at 6:30am—I don’t want your advice.”
But even that’s not the full picture… it would also need to include:
“If you aren’t doing daycare drop-off all week, working a 9–5, running a side business, trying to stay fit, trying to grow as a person, while also maintaining your sanity, traveling, being fun—and not completely running yourself into the ground… then I don’t want your advice.”

We’re all different—I know that. And this isn’t meant to be mean. But I’m over people saying we all have the same 24 hours in a day. We all have a day that’s 24 hours, yes—but we do not have the same 24 hours. Honestly, we’re lucky if we all even get the same 6 hours of sleep, because even that isn’t guaranteed in some homes.

Some people post about how they fit fitness into their day… maybe they work from home and can carve out an hour. Do you know how I get my workout in? I do it at 4:15am (or 5:15am). Because if I don’t do it in the morning, there is absolutely NO guarantee it’s happening that day.

At 4:15am? 100% chance.
At 8am? Maybe 10–30%.

Why? Because I work full time and I have a toddler. I might leave work early sometimes—but then I feel guilty. And even if I do leave early, I get home and realize I should probably fold laundry, change sheets, or handle something else I’ve put off for too long.

Alright, I could go on and on… but we all need to stop saying we have the same 24 hours. Because we don’t. We just all have 24 hours in a day—and that’s where the similarities stop.